铛铛铛铛铛……
dang, dang, dang...
远方传来教堂的钟声…
Ring of bell from the distance church
今年的圣诞，她会送我什么呢？
What gift will she give me for this Christmas?
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
甜甜圈的诱惑 - the seduction of doughnut
她约我出来， 我应约了，她是我好朋友的前女友。
我穿上刚烫好笔直浅卡其色长袖衬衫。倒了猫食在奶茶橙的塑胶碗里。出门前想了一下，决定把父亲留下的银色腕表给戴上。把准备好的圣诞礼物给留下。
She invited me for a tea, and I agreed. She is my best friend’s ex-girlfriend.
I wore a khakis colour long sleeves shirt, ironed it straight and stiff like an air craft run-way ready to take off, the way I liked it. Poured some biscuits into Ginger Tea’s plastic bowl, as usual the cat was no place to be seen.
When I was about to leave the doorway, I decided to wear the silver watch which dad had left for me and with some hesitations, I left the supposed –to-give-to-her Christmas present at home.
I wore a khakis colour long sleeves shirt, ironed it straight and stiff like an air craft run-way ready to take off, the way I liked it. Poured some biscuits into Ginger Tea’s plastic bowl, as usual the cat was no place to be seen.
When I was about to leave the doorway, I decided to wear the silver watch which dad had left for me and with some hesitations, I left the supposed –to-give-to-her Christmas present at home.
下午五点半，我如约赶到，她已经在靠窗的座位等着我了。桌子上有两杯还在冒着蒸气的卡布奇渃和半个甜甜圈。我用左脚的拇指推测，其中一杯一定是我的。
I arrived at 5.30pm sharp. She was, as she always was, waiting for me at the place next to the window, the corner we both liked.
On the table, there were two cup of cappuccino and half a donut. One of the cappuccino must be mine, a conclusion based on the deduction method I made with my left foot toe.
她比我上一回遇见的她更是妩媚迷人。不知道为什么，有一种温柔情感的东西却逐渐失去。
我向她点头示意，就在她对座坐下。留下半个的甜甜圈和它的主人一样仍然秀色可餐。
She was much more attractive and charming then the last time we met. However, there was this warm feeling of her, without obvious reason, fading gradually.
I nodded at her and sit at the opposite of her.
The half donut was as seducing as its’ owner.
我不知道要向她说什么，毕竟是她说是有事约我出来。而且我不记得和她之间有什么共同的深刻话题。
我不问自取地伸手把甜甜圈拿来，咬了一口。
想起从前他和她的事。
一些不太方便说的事。
I did not know what to talk about. It was her, who invited me out for a drink after all.
I could not even remember if there were any impressive mutual topics we both shared.
Without asking, I took the half donut and put into my mouth.
Suddenly, I thought of the affair in between them, an affair that best kept untold.
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表白- confession of doughnut
我在吃着甜甜圈的时候，她看着我好像想说什么却欲言还止。然后望向窗外出神。
窗外的建筑群后准有只巨兽经过，我猜想。
When I was eating the donut, she was staring at me liked she had something to tell me.
At the end, she looked out through the window.
I guess there must be a giant monster walking pass the buildings.
我吃完甜甜圈，用纸巾把手上和嘴的糖油抹去。然后喝了一口卡布奇渃。 她向女招待要了一杯冷水。
After finished eating the donut, I wiped my hand and lip with a paper napkin, I took a sip of the cappuccino, the taste was just nice albeit a bit too roast for my liking. She ordered a glass of cold water from the waitress.
“今天突然邀你出来是想告诉你或许难于置信的事。” 她说。
“就说来听听吧！”我说。在这行做久了，就会发现太阳底下没有什么新鲜事。
“The reason of inviting you out today is to tell you something that might be hard to believe!” she said in one sentence and one smooth mono tone.
“You have my ears.” I said. I had been working in this field for so long, I reckoned there was no real strange thing actually happened under the sun.
“听说过查理曼大帝吗？那个在康士坦斯湖旁徘徊不去的查理曼大帝”她问。
我有些失望，以为她会说出更爱昧的情感表白。
当然我覆约不全为这个。 唉！我在想什么呢？
“Have you heard of King Charlemagne? The emperor who was so fond to the Lake Constance and never left the shore?” she asked.
Frankly, I was a bit upset to hear that, I thought she might has a more intimate feeling to express.
Having said that, this was not the only reason I was here.
What actually am I expecting?
一则古老的传说 - Lake Constance
“查理曼大帝(Charlemagne)晚年时疯狂地爱上一位日耳曼少女，后来少女害病去世，国王吩咐人把遗体敷过香料，搬入寝室，与尸共寝。’
Late in life the emperor Charlemagne fell in love with a German girl. When the girl suddenly died, the emperor had the embalmed body carried to his bed chamber, where he refused to be parted from it.
‘杜尔平教（Turpin）对这骇人听闻感到惊惶不已。他怀疑有魔法作祟，因此检验尸体。他在女子的舌头底下发现了一枚宝石戒指。’
‘杜尔平教（Turpin）对这骇人听闻感到惊惶不已。他怀疑有魔法作祟，因此检验尸体。他在女子的舌头底下发现了一枚宝石戒指。’
The archbishop Turpin, alarmed by this macabre passion, suspected an enchantment and insisted on examining the corpse. Hidden under the girl’s dead tongue he found a ring with a precious stone set in it.
当戒指在主教手中， 查理曼大帝更疯狂地爱上主教。主教为了避免困窘难堪就将那枚戒指扔入康士坦斯湖(Lake Constance)。’
As soon as the ring was in Turpin’s hands, Charlemagne fell passionately in love with the archbishop. In order to escape the embarrassing situation, the Turpin flung the ring into Lake Constance.
查理曼大帝终日在湖泊凝视徘徊，爱恋着那看不见的湖底深渊。
最后一切都消褪化为忧郁的冥思。’
她娓娓道来，慢慢转动着手中半满的杯。
Charlemagne thereupon fell in love with the lake and would not leave its shores. At the end everything was hence reduced to a melancholic meditation…
She spoke slowly while spinning the half full glass of water gently.
故事灵感源自卡尔维诺的书《six memos for the next millennium》
based on Italo Calvino's
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甜甜圈化-doughnutised
‘有人声称找到了戒指，在干凅的康士坦斯湖，神奇的戒指魔力犹在。
科学家做了实验，只要把戒指穿过圆形空洞的物体，那物体就有了魔力。
实验过的物件是，炸洋葱圈，求生圈，炸墨鱼圈，圈圈糖，甜甜圈等等。噢！POLO糖就不能，毕竟太小了！’她有些惋惜的说。
“Some one claimed that he had found the magical ring at the already dried up Lake Constance.
Scientists had conducted several experiments, and they discovered that when the ring penetrates through any round hollow object, the object would become magical.”
“Objects undergone the experiments were fried onion ring, rescue float, fried calamari ring, lollipop, and of course, doughnut. "
"Oh, polo sweets are not applicable here, it is too tiny.” She said in a regretful tone.
Scientists had conducted several experiments, and they discovered that when the ring penetrates through any round hollow object, the object would become magical.”
“Objects undergone the experiments were fried onion ring, rescue float, fried calamari ring, lollipop, and of course, doughnut. "
"Oh, polo sweets are not applicable here, it is too tiny.” She said in a regretful tone.
‘有人把实验室的甜甜圈给偷吃了，此人从此对甜甜圈着了魔, 时时刻刻都在找寻世上完美的甜甜圈，就像完美的文章并不存在一样，他在追求不存在之事物，失去了生活中原有的焦点。这现象人们称之为 ‘甜甜圈化’。’
“Unfortunately, someone had swallowed the doughnut in the lab, thereafter he was so fond into doughnuts, in every single moment he was searching the right perfect doughnuts in the world, just like a truly perfect writing does not exist in this world, he is searching a non-existent perfect doughnut… he has lost the focus on other things in life.
This phenomenon is called ‘ doughnutised.’” 
‘但事件却没有到此告个段落， 因为凡是被‘甜甜圈化’的人触摸过的甜甜圈都会粘上魔法引诱他人。 这事件将会无休无止地像瘟疫那样蔓延下去…
癫狂的永劫回归正在发生着…’她套了尼采的观念。噢！或不是尼采？
“But the incident does not stop just here. Those donuts which was touched by ‘dougnutised one’ will possess black magic to seduce others. This phenomenon will be spreading ceaselessly like an outbreak of cholera.”
‘人们欲望渴求不存在之事物， 这欲望所得到的匮欠，正好以甜甜圈的中心部分像 徵出来。’说毕，我喝了一半的卡布奇诺。这又借用了谁的话。
“换句话说，被‘甜甜圈化’了的人，就像甜甜圈一样，中心什么都没有！”
‘The madness of this eternal return is happening now…’ She was using Nietzsche’s perception, oh may be is not Nietzsche?
“One desires nonexistence thing, this unfulfilled desire only bring in emptiness which was best represented by the void in a doughnut.” After saying this, I drank half of the cappuccino, now whose perception did I copy?
“In other words, those who was being ‘doughnutised’, is like a doughnut itself, there is only nothing in the core, nothing at all.” I continued.
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甜甜圈的圈套-the entrapment of doughnut
你都明白了？”她问。
“那么说， 刚在那半块甜甜圈？”我反问。
“How about the half doughnut I just ate?” I asked in return.
“我其实是想要阻止你的。”她眨了一下眼睛。
“或许和他分手的原因， 和这事有关也说不定。”她侧着头望向那渐行渐远的巨兽背影。
“Actually I was about to stop you.” Her eye winked.
“May be the reason why I broke up with him has got something to do with this.” She turned and looked at the back of the departing giant outside the window.
“你相信这传闻吗？”我问， 然后把剩下逐渐变冷卡布其诺喝完。
“Do you believe in this myth?” I asked, and finished up the already starting to cool off cappuccino.
她看着窗外许久， 有些凋零的眼神，沉默不语。
她看着窗外许久， 有些凋零的眼神，沉默不语。 She was staring outside the window for a long time. The eyes were slightly waned, she remained silent.
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后记 – 平安夜 -christmas eve
我从甜品店出来，已经是傍晚七点四十五分。广场人潮洛繹不绝，商店争相的播放圣诞歌，从纳京.高至戴安娜.可若；从米高.巴布至莎拉.麦克拉登。
虽然每年的圣诞歌都一样， 不管是谁唱都好！只要不过分标新立异，或唱得太糟至面目全非， 一般上我都会喜欢。 也享受这样由商业包装营造出来的气氛。
在亚热带国家过了半生的我，不知为什么的，今晚突然感到一股寒意。 我把她送我的圣诞礼物夹在腋下，双手插进裤袋，赶紧离开人群…
It was 7.45pm when I came out from the doughnut shop.
The square was full of crowds. The retail shops were competing to play Christmas songs, from Nat King Cole to Diana Krall; from Micheal Buble to Sarah McLachlan, you name it.
Although the songs are all the same every year, no matter who sings them, as long as they are not too excessively altered to be different or the songs are too badly sung beyond recognition, I will generally accept. I do enjoy the ambient of this commercially packaged festive season.
Having been living in this tropical country for half my life, I didn’t know why, that night I suddenly felt there was a chill in the air, I clamped the present she gave below my left arm, inserted my hands in the pants pocket, hurried I left the crowds.
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